Jobseekers Tip: Take the Inner Journey First

Before you head out on your job search, I recommend knowing where you want to go, and be sure to fill up your gas tank first. The way to do this is to take an inner journey first. Over the years working with hundreds of clients, I've found it to be more common than not for people to have negative feelings around the work and career path they're on. Losing a job, mergers and acquisitions, micro managers, toxic workplaces, overwhelming demands, feeling unappreciated, feeling trapped in an unhappy career path chosen long ago for reasons of money or to please someone else—all of these reasons can make the process much more difficult than helpful.

If you're feeling any negative emotions, that's like setting out for a long road trip with your gas tank (or battery charge) near empty. Feeling bored, worried, pessimistic, frustrated, blameful, angry, embarrassed, fearful, unworthy and disempowered -- like you have to do it, you have to be where you are, and have no choice -- these are all indicators that your personal energy is low.

And that's OK. We all run out of fuel. You have good legitimate reasons to feel the way you do.

Fortunately, there are ways to fill up your personal energy tank.

Start by noticing your thoughts, those voices in your head that say things that make you feel bad about yourself, that limit you and your options. Do not ignore them. Instead, write them down, using the very powerful process of reflective writing. And definitely use a pencil and paper, rather than a keyboard. Physically writing engages more of the emotional centers of your brain than typing.

The following set of reflective writing prompts can help write your next successful chapter by connecting with who you really are. I'm speaking about your authentic Self with a capital S, also referred to as your higher self, your soul, your divine self. That part of you was who you were born to be. It's that highly creative and multi-faceted energetic being of light you were when you were very young. Most people are taught by others to disconnect from that Self. You may have forgotten what he or she is like. But that Self never ever disconnects from you. Your Big Self always has your back and is whispering in your ear, answering your questions, gathering the things you want, and holding them for you, until you're ready to receive them. Your Big Self is kind of like the chef at your favorite restaurant. Behind the scenes, gathering all the ingredients and cooking up a delightful meal for you.

Remember: You are a completely unique and lovable human being. No one on earth has ever walked in your shoes—or ever will. No one has experienced the life you're living. No one has seen what you've seen, felt what you've felt, learned what you've learned. You are unique unto all the universe. You are, hands-down, the subject-matter expert in your own life, experiences, and skills. You are the captain of your ship.

Grab the wheel!

• KNOW THYSELF: If you have not yet done so, a powerful tool of self-knowledge I highly recommend is the Clifton StrengthsFinder assessment.

Clifton Strengths is much more than a skills assessment. Note: the odds of 2 people having the same top 5 out of 34 strengths in the exact same order are 1 in 33,390,720. You truly are unique. Clifton Strengths is the chief tree in the healthy growing forest of Positive Psychology called Strengths Psychology. (If I have one goal in my life, it is to help make Don Clifton's name and strengths legacy a household word, as it kindles positive transformation, correctly: from the inside out.) (You can register at this website to find your "Strengths Twin" if you are interested.)

The point is, you are a multi-faceted diamond of a human being, and the Clifton StrengthsFinder reveals the many facets—as unique as your DNA. Once you have your results, budget a half an hour week to learn more about your strengths, using a multitude of free trainings and podcasts offered on Gallup's YouTube channel and the Gallup website. I promise, discovering your natural talents will be a pleasant and unfolding surprise, worth the investment of your time. Other skill assessments pale in comparison to the accuracy and rich results of the Clifton StrengthsFinder. (Be sure to share in the comments your top strengths and any surprises or insights you may discover.)

Set aside another half an hour a week do some REFLECTIVE JOURNALING/ Plan a trip to your favorite café, or curl up in your favorite chair. Here are a few prompts to guide your inner reflective writing journey:

JOURNALING PROMPT 1: Many Hats For Career Changers

Rejoining the paid workforce after time off raising a family or caregiving for yourself or others brings up all kinds of insecurities for most people. We're going to transform those feelings, filling up your gas tank. For all the work you've done, you're going to calculate and write about how much you would have earned had you taken a paycheck.

Grab this list of transferable job skills, open a spreadsheet or ledger book, and in the lefthand column list the hat(s) you wore during your “career break.” Use Google, LinkedIn, or Glassdoor to research pay scales for each roll, adding dollar figures in the next column, and then total the earnings.

For example, did you know that the position of Household Manager, with duties including handling financial, property, personal caregiving, and operational affairs, is actually a professional position which is in high demand by many wealthy multi-generational families? The salary for a Household Manager is usually in the six figures.

After adding up all the salaries for your many hats, over the months or years you worked, circle that total.

Now comes using your imagination and journaling.

Imagine going to your mailbox and there's a piece of mail addressed to you from YVE Source Bank. Inside is a statement for an account in your name, showing that sum total, plus interest. At the bottom is a message that reads: "Your earnings have been transferred into your main account at [Your Bank.] Thank you for doing business with YVE Source Bank!" You log into your bank account and confirm it is true. The money is there.

Now write a description. What did you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch in that experience? What are your thoughts and feelings before and after opening the letter? Describe what will you do next. Have fun with this!

Journaling Prompt 2: On Screen.

Describe your career challenge as if you are writing a trailer for a movie or mini-series. Describe yourself as the main character. What are your motivations? What did you want at the beginning, and what blocked you? What mistakes did you make and what did you learn from them? What was your greatest achievement during that period? Did you climb mountains, build rockets, or wrestle demons? Is the story over? What's the next installment?

Journaling Prompt 3: Achievements

Cash is only one type of reward—and a temporary one at that. Journal about other kinds of rewards you rewards you received along your journal that may be deeper, more meaningful, and longer-lasting than money. They may include pride of achievement, meaningful relationships, personal growth, love, joy, satisfaction, or survival. Imagine writing a letter to your children, grandchildren, or great-grandchildren, telling them about your journey. Tell them about their ancestors—your parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles, that you know well. What are the best parts of your story you'd like to tell them about? What advice and wisdom would you give them?

Journaling Prompt 3: Oxygen

Imagine you’re on an airplane that loses pressure. The plane doesn’t crash, thank God. But there's a lot of turbulence, all the oxygen masks let loose, and your fellow passengers scream, terrified, gasping for breath.

They don't know the plane won't crash--only you do.

What will it feel like when you put on your oxygen mask? Whose lives will you save, in what order? What will you do and say to the people you help? Who is on the plane with you? Where are you going? What will you do next?

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By now you should be feeling pretty good about yourself, your story, about what you can do. Do you know more about what you want to do?

Feeling good means always means you have energy. You have fuel in your tank.

Now you're ready to start your job search.